"Why Do I Feel So Jealous Over Little Things?"

I used to ask myself:

Am I just naturally jealous?

Am I just insecure?

Or do I simply not trust enough?

And every time I feel that way, I end up feeling sorry—not just for my partner, but for myself too.

Eventually, I realized something: I’m not being jealous just because I want to control. I’m protecting something sacred—my trust. Because deep down, I know that once that trust is completely broken, it’s not just my partner who will suffer—I will too. You see, when you’ve been through a toxic relationship or you’ve been betrayed by people you loved, whether friends, exes, or even family, it changes you.

You start to build emotional walls. Even if you want to trust again, it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow and painful process. So, what happens? Sometimes, before things get worse or turn into something serious, my jealousy already kicks in. I try to stop the potential red flags before they grow into real damage.

I act out, I get upset, not because I want drama, but because that’s what I feel. And I want to protect what we have before it breaks. I know it’s not always fair. I know I should be calmer, more secure. But I’m still learning, still healing.

So, to my partner: I’m sorry for being like this sometimes. I’m not broken. I’m just cautious. I love deeply, but that also means I’m scared and sensitive when trust feels shaky. And all I really want is to feel safe enough not to worry.

— MD